“Great news.  You have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to buy the revolutionary new bath towel from Cotton Stuff For Your House Dot Com.  This towel will dry your body after a shower and it’s completely reusable.  What’s more we are offering you a special six for the price of half dozen promotion that includes shipping and handling at our regularly low rates.”

In other words, the housewares company wants to sell me towel.  Fair enough.  That’s what such companies do.  I might even want some new towels.  But it’s not great news. It’s not a special opportunity.  And I feel jobbed every time I read lies like these.

What frustrates me the most is the tone deafness of the approach.  I hate newsletters and communications that are phrased to suggest that I am being done a great favor by being the subject of their marketing.  Lucky me.  You are giving me the chance to spend my money on your products.  Stop the noise.  Unsubscribe.  I hate it.  And worst of all it’s transparent.  That tone is exactly the opposite of the way I feel.  I am doing you the favor of actually engaging with content that is designed to help you sell more.  Treat me with the love, respect and kid gloves that favor givers like me deserve.   Then I might even buy your magical reusable towel or at least not hate you for trying to sell it to me.